Weekend 2 is over and let me tell you – I am as spent as if I just lived through Mercury in Retrograde ten times over. I can barely tell which way is up. I am moving emotional mountains. I am DIGGING down into the very core of my being and seriously working on some deep seeded thangs my friends.
Friday – I cry during final meditation.
Saturday – I cry during final meditation.
Sunday – I cry during our opening meditation and blubber my way (loudly) through our final meditation after reading a heart wrenching poem about “Self-Love” in front of my class.
That. Poem. Hit. Hard.
I know that Chelsey (our meditation training leader) knew that it would be like it was. That I would chose that poem, that she would chose me to read that poem in front of everyone, that I would struggle with that poem and most importantly, that I would have a major breakthrough with that poem.
“That poem” is entitled Self-Love by Charlie Chaplin.
And on Sunday, September 15th, 2019 as I sat there in front of my peers with my hand over my heart feeling the weight of every single word I read aloud, I began to feel lighter. I was a hot, sweaty, clammy, teary-eyed, blubbering mess of emotional lightness – the energy in motion was the beginning of my eradication of deeper pains and attachments I had buried down inside for only God knows how long.
Lighter – how it feels when you begin to release years of abandonment, self-doubt and the need to please everyone around you. Lighter – when you start to let go of that which has buried its claws so deep in you and just keeps holding you back. Lighter – when you see a glimpse of your internal strength, resilience and power.
The poem reads as follows:
I have been and will continue to meditate on this poem every single day until I wholeheartedly understand, believe and give my being to each of the paragraphs within. I encourage you to do the same.
Weekend 2, just like Weekend 1, was a complete game changer. I cannot wait for more.
A poem to "myself":
I love me.
I love myself.
Through everything, no matter what.
I have my own back – without fail.
I know myself better than anyone on this planet,
And therefore, know every intimate detail about myself,
Or have a means to access them.
Whoever I chose to share myself with
Will love and value me for me.
I am me, I love me.
I love me.